Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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