you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
you mean i was at the winter classic?
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I deserve this hangover.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
