It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Randomize
