Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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