You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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