So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
