another moral hangover. fuck.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
