margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
