Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Randomize
