I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Randomize
