I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
