glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
