Life is so much better after having sex.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
