He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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