The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
