So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Randomize
