Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
