apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Drake has all the answers
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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