I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
