Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
