Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
