I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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