glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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