their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
