All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Randomize
