her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
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