Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Randomize
