Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
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