You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
