I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Randomize
