I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
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