he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
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