i think my tv is drunk
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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