Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
