i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
