going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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