i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
