I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
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