Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
