If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
