I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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