Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
