So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
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What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
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I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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