I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
