IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Randomize
