Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
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