The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
she told me i tasted like america
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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