she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Randomize
