I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
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