Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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