dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
