yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
The Olympian is in my bed
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Randomize
