Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
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