I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
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