I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
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