SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
