You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
