if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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