There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I don't deserve a penis
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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