sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
where are you?
Hypothermia
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
