I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
