Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Just puked most of my soul out..
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
