im about as happy as oj after his trial
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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